I’m a hoarder when it comes to clothes and objects that have been passed on to me. Each item reminds me of special people and times. But I NEVER rack up past events unless they bring me happiness and joy. The reason is that if I engage and dwell on something that caused me pain and unhappiness, the chance is that it still will.
Living in the past robs us of life now, and a future.
I love spending time with loved ones, family and friends. It means a lot to me, but each of us are born and will die one day, and what we do with our lives in-between, matters more to me than living in the past.
Of course terrible painful experiences in the past do impact our lives, which is the reason I enjoy my work as a Psychologist, meeting and counselling people from all walks of life. But unless we can find a way of moving forward, the pain of past events will fixate on our minds and in our hearts.
The past is part of the present. How many times have you heard someone say that?
Albeit true on the one hand, since all of us are products of the past, yet on the other hand, humans are so much more than that. We are resilient, determined and extremely open to new possibilities and improvements. Most of us welcome new challenges and don’t stagnate. Different ages, different opportunities and challenges.
Whatever burden you’ve been carrying within you for a short or long time requires to be resolved in order to move forward. Painful experiences and resentment and anger towards someone who is no longer around to confront, require patience and time and talking things through with family, a friend and in some cases a professional.
But this is what I know for sure: Letting go of painful memories and living in the present is the best recipe for happiness and a healthy mind and body.