Who Has Your Back: True Friends

True friends are crucial to our social and emotional well-being.

Increasingly, I have noticed that people refer to acquaintances and online sites and temporary connections as ‘friends’. Of course, it is now popular to have friends in the online world as a social connections are more intertwined.

My concern is that despite the Internet accessibility people are lonelier than ever.

Why? I honestly believe less is more. Being part of the latest trends and striving to make friends everywhere is a recipe for disaster as humans need to feel loved and appreciated and I believe that the connections made in the online world are not always truly possible unless we invest time and genuinely care for the people we connect with.

When I relocated to my home town I discovered the people I’ve known all my life aren’t actually as close to me as I believed. Don’t get me wrong: they are just as important to me as they used to be but over time everyone’s needs and attitudes change.

The trick is to acknowledge that and find different ways of reconnecting.

Nowadays I value deeper and meaningful relationships. Larger social gatherings of friends are fine but you can’t always communicate as well in a large and noisy crowd. Of course, it’s lovely to mingle at a party and make new connections but nothing beats that special one to one conversation and invaluable personal relationship with the people that truly understand and get me. I love nothing better than having a conversation with the people I love and care about.

These days I think long and hard about who I wish to spend and invest time with.

Superficial relationships were fine when I was younger and required a variety of different people and contexts to discover more about myself and who I wanted to invest meaningful friendships with.

Unfortunately, it is difficult to maintain a friendship without time and eventually the knowledge about the other person’s history, values and interests. Having an ongoing conversation where both parties pick up from where they left things, irrelevant of time span, is for me the very best way to communicate feelings and be part of each other’s lives. Without investing time and willingness to get to know people on a deep level, we’ll not achieve that special closeness that becomes deeper over time.

Sometimes people grow apart for no particular reason. It’s part of life and living to not stay as close as we once used to and no ones fault.

It’s been quite a transition to return to my birth place and leave everyone and everything I’m used to behind. Without support and love from my closest friends I would not have coped as well as I do. True friends are just a call or email away. They are there when I need to talk and express feelings that I didn’t envisage after living abroad for many years. True friends are the ones that are there for me when I need someone to talk to, and who provide a listening ear and confirmation things will be alright.

Being lonely in various contexts is tough. I hope you’ve got friends and family that are there for you and cover your back when you need it. It’s the only kind of connection that matters to me.

Wishing all of you a lovely time with the special people in your life.

Hélene xx

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